Dr. Pam Thompson

Dr. Pam Thompson

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Mothers Who Lie in Court for their Daughters

I was recently aghast to hear two famous television personalities boldly admit before a national audience that they would lie for their daughters in court, one of whom is an attorney. I’ve been even more shocked to see a grandmother actually get caught in lies for her daughter in the recent Casey Anthony murder trial. What??!!!! Is there no concern for what kind of message this sends to the daughter about how to solve problems and face hardships? “Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.” (Sir Walter Scott).

I immediately thought how tragic it is that this kind of indulgence appears to be the norm today, and it easily masquerades as a loving act. In fact, this kind of “love” (manifested as protection of “little Suzy Cue” from ALL consequences) is likely what gets a daughter in the unfortunate position of having to defend herself in a court of law in the first place. For sure, the mindset of any mom who “loves” in this way has been inclined toward harmful indulgence of her daughter long before she makes a decision to lie for her in court. This kind of “love” may also get other people hurt or killed. Bad behavior, left unchallenged, usually ends up evolving toward a general disregard for others’ rights and well-being because there’s no consequence of discomfort or lost freedom to help redirect one’s thoughts and actions toward legal and moral decision-making. 

I can’t tell you how many women I’ve interviewed in prison who are there because Mama never told them “no” or allowed them EVER to feel the sting of life’s hurts and disappointments. So the daughter kept raising the stakes on what she could get away with, knowing that Mama always “had her back.” One day the jig was up, and the daughter was forced to come to her senses from inside a prison cell while Mama cried, “I gave her everything…how could this have happened?” Yes, she would have given everything to her daughter alright, EXCEPT the priceless and loving gift of truth.

Find out more about Mama’s “innocent” acts that strain relations with their daughters by reading my book Surviving Mama available at www.amazon.com or www.survivingmama.com.

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